This trip is not easy. It's cool, certainly. (Come on, Passion in Africa is cool.) But it isn't easy. It is right on the heels of my busiest time of year. It is incredibly expensive and everything within me wants to rebel at the idea of raising support. I don't really know the other people going all that well.
And that's why I am going.
It's been a while since I have knowingly put myself in a position where the outcome will undeniably rest solely on God. Most of what I do everyday can be accomplished by me. And usually, the outcomes are pretty good. I live in safety and predictability.
Don't get me wrong. I am not saying, "Lord, prove your faithfulness to me by making this trip a success." I am not testing God. I am simply acting in the belief that He asks us to do things in which we can claim no credit for how it goes.
And this is a little scary. I still have doubts. I am far from raising the needed support. I still feel nervous about going with a team I don't really know and flying alone. I still wonder about my role on the team. And things certainly haven't gotten less busy. But God is faithful to remind me of why I said yes.
I am currently working through Solo: The Uncommon Devotional. Today's study was of Judges 7:1-7. It is the story of Gideon going to war. Before going into battle God pares down Gideon's army from 32,000 to 10,000 to 300 all because God tells Gideon "You have too large an army with you. I can't turn Midian over to them like this—they'll take all the credit, saying, 'I did it all myself,' and forget about me."
I think that we are called to do things bigger than ourselves so that we can't take the credit and forget about God. For me, one of those things is Passion::Kampala. And I am so grateful for the reminder that came today.
What about you? What are you asking God for that is bigger than you? I would love to join you in prayer for it.
Judges 7:1-7
Jerub-Baal (Gideon) got up early the next morning, all his troops right there with him. They set up camp at Harod's Spring. The camp of Midian was in the plain, north of them near the Hill of Moreh.
God said to Gideon, "You have too large an army with you. I can't turn Midian over to them like this—they'll take all the credit, saying, 'I did it all myself,' and forget about me. Make a public announcement: 'Anyone afraid, anyone who has any qualms at all, may leave Mount Gilead now and go home.'" Twenty-two companies headed for home. Ten companies were left.
God said to Gideon: "There are still too many. Take them down to the stream and I'll make a final cut. When I say, 'This one goes with you,' he'll go. When I say, 'This one doesn't go,' he won't go." So Gideon took the troops down to the stream.
God said to Gideon: "Everyone who laps with his tongue, the way a dog laps, set on one side. And everyone who kneels to drink, drinking with his face to the water, set to the other side." Three hundred lapped with their tongues from their cupped hands. All the rest knelt to drink.
God said to Gideon: "I'll use the three hundred men who lapped at the stream to save you and give Midian into your hands. All the rest may go home."
1 comment:
Hey Beth, so glad to be able to read about your life and your journey through your blogs now. I really loved this: "It's been a while since I have knowingly put myself in a position where the outcome will undeniably rest solely on God. Most of what I do everyday can be accomplished by me. And usually, the outcomes are pretty good. I live in safety and predictability."
I totally get that. I'm on a couple of journeys right now where things have been taken out of my hands, and it's scary. But then again, how cool will it be to see God work it all out without me? :)
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